Bump Update - 19 Weeks

How far along?  
19 weeks

Total weight gain/measurements: 
I've gained a total of 10 lbs since pre-pregnancy, equalling 175 lbs total & the belly has grown 3 inches since pre=pregnancy! Which brings me to 41.5 inches total. 

Maternity clothes:  
Still wearing normal clothes no problem. Living in leggings and comfy pants though.

Stretch marks: 
No

Sleep: 
UUUGGHHHHHH.. does that say enough? If I could just have a cloud to sleep on with 17 pillows, that would be great. 

Best moment this week:
Met with our new nurse practitioner, Kelly, today! Such a nice woman. I'm very happy with her following my pregnancy. We had a prenatal today [Friday] and she had to chase "him" around with the fetal doppler! We ended up not being able to hear the heartbeat because "he" wouldn't stop moving around! We also have an ultrasound booked on Nov 4th! Woooo we'll finally know if were having our little "he" or if were giving our poor daughter a complex.... haha!

Miss anything? 
I had the most insane craving for gin and ginger ale today... but if I had to choose.. Id say I miss sleep over anything else. 

Movement: 
Moving like CRAZY!! This baby is definitely it's fathers baby!! I love that Bo is able to feel the kicks too! It's so exciting!

Food cravings: 
I've really been craving meat lately.. Ive been wanting a hamburger, which is weird... because I don't ever eat hamburgers... I wish i wanted veggies more, but I really don't... and I still can't find asian salad anywhere! 

Anything making you queasy or sick? 
Nope! It's so nice... Unless I don't eat quick enough, then I get a little nauseas. Other then that no food aversions!

Gender:  
Still thinking boy! We'll know for sure in 11 days! I'll be over 20 weeks so I'm sure it won't be problem to see at the ultrasound! Unless the squirmy little bugger doesn't co-operate! Fingers crossed for legs NOT to be! hahaha!

Labour signs:
No  

Symptoms:  
Hungry always. Cramping/stomach pains. That's about it for this week hah!

Belly button in or out? 
In

Happy or moody most of the time: 
Lately.. sooo moody and emotional 

Looking forward to: 
Finding out what were having in 11 days!!!  

Bump Update - 18 Weeks

How far along? 
 18 weeks

Total weight gain/measurements: 
belly has grown half an inch over the last couple weeks!! i really gotta get a scale

Maternity clothes: 
haven't bought any yet.. still waiting for those Asos leggings to come in though... those would come in handy right about now. 

Stretch marks: 
No 

Sleep: 
Literally up at least 3+ times a night. Every night. One night I was up for hours! I feel like it's been a long time since I actually slept all through the night. 

Best moment this week: 
Where do I begin?! It's been such a great couple weeks! My nurse practitioner who I started to see, found me a new nurse practitioner closer to where we live! She's only 15 minutes away, as opposed to 1.5 hours! I searched her online, and theres nothing but amazing reviews about her! Our first appointment with her is next Friday. The only downfall with that, is that the gender ultrasound will probably be delayed until I'm about 20+ weeks.. 

The second best moment was going to Bo's dads place for Thanksgiving dinner. I've always been with my family for Thanksgiving [except for one year when I was in college and my roommate and I made a delicious, huge, home cooked dinner for all of us!], so I was starting to get a little sad thinking that it was just going to be Bo and I... which obviously wasn't going to be the end of the world or anything!... but it's just not the same as being with family. We had an amazing dinner with great company! I was very thankful that day to have the people in my life that I do. 

The third and quite possibly the most incredible thing ever... I felt the baby move for the first time [Oct 16th]!!!!!

Miss anything? 
SLEEP. I don't care if I should "get used to it" or "just wait and see" or "blah blah blah blah blah blah". I'm waking up to a snoring dog, pee breaks, and sweat! I'd like to sleep all night while I can, before I don't have a choice in the matter.  

Movement: 
YES YES YES YES YES and it was amazing. I had been feeling little flutters every now and again for a couple days but couldn't really tell if it was just my own tummy grumbling or if it was the baby. Thursday afternoon, I was 100% confident it was that bebe! It was so amazing feeling him/her move from the inside! I know that I'm pregnant, but every now and again I'm just like "Woah, theres a baby growing in there" haha!
----a couple days after i wrote this, Bo felt the baby move too!----

Food cravings: 
Still sweets & frozen treats. I had an insane craving for Smiley "fries" the other day though. I went to 3 different stores to find them! Still have my tea and toast every morning too. 

Anything making you queasy or sick?
 If I don't eat quick enough when I wake up, I gag. I find myself waking up in the middle of the night, super hungry and super nauseas too...

Gender:  
No idea yet.. It'll probably be longer then I thought before we get that ultrasound.. due to a late appt with our nurse practitioner. 

Labour signs:  
No

Symptoms:  
Tired from lack of sleep is my biggest one. My muscles & joints are a bit achy. My hands and feet are getting extra veiny [if you look at my hands in my 18 week maternity photos, you can see the veins popping out!] Sweating a lot in my sleep, which I never used to do.. I'm going to assume thats another weird pregnancy thing. I get dizzy probably like 90% of the time I stand up.. I gotta learn to move slower!

Belly button in or out?
 In

Happy or moody most of the time: 
Lately its both. I swear my emotions are on some kind of crazy pregnant emotional roller coaster. 

Looking forward to: 
The gender ultrasound 

I think this outfit is so cute and it was SO comfy! I think I've only ever worn this shirt or dress... I'm not too sure what it is actually... but I've only worn it once before! Ive had it for years! I think I'll be wearing it a lot more these days. I had on tights underneath that I hd also had for years. I remember buying them for an "event" outfit, maybe New Years, and never ended up wearing them! They were full of holes in the one leg from the cardboard piece inside that keeps them looking all nice. Had to edit those out ;) The boots are from Shirley [my step dad's mom]. I've worn them a bazillion times. Love love love them. I believe she gave them to me as a Christmas gift :)

18 Week Maternity Photos!

I got upset at the fact that my best friend/personal photographer lives 15 hours away from me & I no longer have anyone to document my pregnancy! I was tired of my iPhone selfies. She so awesomely suggested to take my own photos. The only picture taking device I have besides my iPhone is my lap top! So, since theres no timer on my phone, my lap top won! Which kind of worried me because usually the quality is just ... well... crap. haha! Turns out, as long a you throw a little edit on them, they look not too bad! Still nothing compared to how they COULD have looked with her amazing camera and skills, and NOT my make shift stands and shifty webcam! But I'm workin' with what I got over here haha! She also took the time to edit some of my shots! Here's a mix of both our edits.

The shirt is a green chiffon halter from Warehouse One. This is actually my first time wearing it!

The pants are shiny black leggings from Garage. I bought them one year for a flamingo outfit. They are amazing comfy and they feel fun and slippery on your legs!

Boots are from my step dads mom. They were a Christmas gift!

Bracelet and ring are from Urban Outfitters. 

i love this one!

This shirt is quite large.... It also help that so are my boobs so it's not clinging to my belly what so ever! I don't even look pregnant in this outfit! 

This one is another favourite!

The top I bought from a friend a couple years ago. This is only my second time wearing this one. Its from Le Chateau. I'm not too sure if its a shirt or a dress.... 

The tights are just some cheap ones from the Bargain Shop. I never wore them when they were bought. That was a few years ago... They were quite holey in one leg form being moved so much!

The lipstick I'm wearing is "Dizzy" by Rimmel. 

This dress is amazing! It hugged all the right things in all the right places! I felt quite confident!

Seriously? Where did the baby go?

The sweater dress is from Victorias Secret. It has had quite the time with me and my ever changing body. When I first bought it, it was way too small. The first time I got to wear it, it was pretty tight, but it looked okay, I guess. The third time I wore it, was during a photo shoot with my best friend Sierra, and it fit perfectly! This time I'm wearing it, its too big! I'm going to keep it around for awhile. I'm sure it'll work perfectly for when this belly gets even bigger!

The leggings are from TNA. I have 2-3 pairs of leggings that still fit, all from TNA. They are my saviours right now. 

Boots are from Charlotte Russe. They've done their time. I desperately need a new pair. I had to hot glue the bottom of a boot in order to wear them for photos. Haha!

Belt is from Urban Outfitters. Headband is from the Bargain Shop. 

The lipstick is N.Y.C Smooch Proof Long Wearing Lip Colour in 489C. This stuff is amazing. It lasts for so long!

I loved this look so much. The outfit, the hair, the lip colour! Loved it. 

a thought..

I've been so excited, proud, and amazed with my pregnancy. I wake up everyday and put my hand on my belly. I look forward to reading about what it's up to in there; what systems are in place, what body parts are growing, how much 'he' weighs and how long 'he's' getting. I love seeing ultrasounds, and hearing the heartbeat, because even though I see my belly growing, and I know he's okay in there, as a new mom it's still nerve wracking waiting for that next appointment! I feel so protective of him already, and he's still in my belly. 

That being said, I'm having a constant battle in my head regarding people or "friends" who haven't acknowledged my pregnancy. I keep trying to tell myself not to think about it and not to give it any thought. The couple friends I have left - who have been the best supporters ever! - keep telling me that I don't need any negativity in my life right now, and to just forget about them. I really wish I could. Theres a huge part of me that feels super offended and upset that there are a select few who have completely disregarded my baby. This is an innocent little being who has no say in the matter. For people who were once VERY close to me in my life, there are a lot of them who don't care about this baby.... Which is fine I guess... but what bothers me is that they still keep me on social media.

 Why? Just "unfriend", "unfollow", "un-everything" me. If there is something that I've done to these people to deserve this lack of acknowledgement for such an important time in my life, then fine... I deserve this. Why just hang out on my social media then? I of course have been pondering the thought of "deleting" these people from my life. I have done this many times before to people who just didn't belong in my life anymore... but these certain few, it just breaks my heart to know that they think so low of me and my unborn child. Theres a part of me that still hopes to get even a tiny bit of acknowledgement, even though I know it's not coming. 

This is a huge part of my life. This is my baby! I want my life to be full of people who care about me and support me and want nothing but the best. I don't need constant attention, an ego boost, or anything like that. A simple "like" would have sufficed. One little "congrats". I didn't need a big hoo-rah.. or a long speech... just something quick, simple, and easy. It's hard to not take everything personal lately with these hormones running amuck, but I think this classifies as personal. 

Since these people are still on my social media - Facebook in particular - I feel like I'm flooding their news feed with photos of my belly & they're just sitting on the other side making negative comments and snide remarks about it. Or they could just be ignoring it all completely, which hurts just as much, if not more. I feel as though if I remove these people [& to be honest, there's too many individuals who I think feel this way] it'll cause more "drama" or "gossip". 

In the end, it just saddens me that not everyone is excited and happy for this little baby to be in the works. A new life is such a miracle. When I know someone who announces a pregnancy, I'm nothing but thrilled for them and 99% of the time I'll throw a quick "Congrats!" out there and "like" a few maternity/pregnancy photos. It just really hurts that I watch these certain people comment and "like" other things, and still completely disregard my life. 

To each their own I guess. I shouldn't let something like this bug me so much! It's just hard to let this one go. 

One day I'll develop some kind of backbone and make a choice. 

Until then - trying to keep good vibes and positivity! 

Feelin' Crafty

I was looking around in Pinterest this morning and found this site that had a photo of roses made out of leaves. I thought it looked so pretty and we have such nice coloured leaves in our yard right now, so I decided to give it a try. 

Here are the end results... I think it turned out quite nice! I only did 7 roses as my back was killing me for sitting so long haha! 

I also started a baby blanket... Ive come to the conclusion that it's going to take me a lonnnnggg time to finish it. The needles are big and it gets so heavy, causing my right pinky finger/knuckle to get cramped up and sore quite quickly. 

I think the needles are 15US. I really gotta find a way to sort and label those circular needles. They should stamp the sizes on them somewhere. Anyway, the yarn is Bernat Baby Blanket in "Little Sandcastles" colour. How cute is that? I got two 300g balls. I'm hoping that should be enough. The free pattern on the ball said to use two, so thats what I went by. I'm using a different pattern then they gave though. A simple 120 c/o. K20 P20. Repeat. Easy peasy. 

Ohhh the Emotions!

I don't know what is is about today. All I want to do is curl up under the blankets and sleep, and cry a little. My emotions gotta get themselves in check, and soon. For some reason, I feel like I'm comparing myself to other pregnant women. My confidence feels like it's at an all time low. I'm stuck in a slump. It doesn't help that I'm miles and miles away from my family and the couple friends I have left. Feeling a little lonely being way from everything I'm familiar and comfortable with. 

I never used to compare myself to others, and if I did, it didn't really matter because I had such high confidence that I just forgot about whatever it was that I was jealous of. Now, good grief, I sit and ponder on things that I really should just get over. I found myself completely jealous of a friend of mine today, when I had seen that she has the most adorable pregnancy announcement, the cutest little baby journal, having the energy to bake a pie, and getting beautiful photos taken of her. Then here I am, in my sweat pants and hoodie, which have become the regular attire these days, sitting in bed, watching Criminal Minds all day! I even tried to knit a baby blanket, but I literally have only gotten a few rows done because my hands keep cramping up! I wish I could be that cute pregnant lady who cooks, cleans, does crafts, and looks amazing all the time. Holy crap, am I ever so far away from that fantasy! I'm achy, tired, still a little nauseas, and all I can think about is "why didn't I think of that" or "why am I not doing that". It's a crazy mentality I tell ya! I'm so over it. 

Seriously, emotions, control yourself, because I cannot.

Another thing I've been wallowing in lately, is how big my belly is! For 17 weeks, I feel huge. At first I was so excited about showing and how big my baby was getting, but now I see girls who are 10-20 weeks further along then I am, and now I feel like a whale! I'm uncomfortable, pants don't fit, joints are sore, and I can feel my belly stretching. My boyfriend is amazing at trying to keep my body confidence up, but today has been a hard one. 

This is not to say I haven't enjoyed every single minute of my pregnancy. Today was just a rough day in the life of Kristen & this is a good venting source for me. I'm completely thankful for this baby and love that little bean with all of my heart. I'm thankful for this stretching belly because I know it means my baby is growing nice and big. It's just taking an emotional toll on me today. I was emotionally and physically drained today. 

I was looking around at pregnancy blogs to follow. I found this entry on a blog called "Snippits of Inspiration". I couldn't have found it at a better time. I made this photo with that entry and plan to make it my lap top background so I can see it and be reminded of it every day. I know I'll be back to my normal self in no time, I think I just needed a day to dabble around on the self pity train.

I'm going to go make a Kraft yellow box pizza for dinner, a tea, and a popsicle for dessert to make me feel better. No homemade dinner tonight, but that's okay with me and my boyfriend. Yellow box pizza is what this bebe wants for dinner tonight, so that's what he/she will get! 

I DID score 2 free Redbox codes today - that was a great perk to my day ;)

Bump Update - 17 Weeks

How did you find out you were pregnant?  
I peed on a stick? haha! I was really nauseas and 'late' so I bought a pregnancy test. Plus before I even took the test, my best friend Sierra & my mom both were asking/telling me I was pregnant!

What kind of Pregnancy test did you take?  
A $5 pack of 2 from 7/11! You don't need the expensive $25 name brand tests after all ;)

How many?  
The package came with 2. The first one showed me 2 bright pink lines almost instantly. The second [I took the following morning] was the same.

What were your 1st symptoms? 
 Morning sickness for SURE. I was so so sick the whole first trimester. 

Who did you tell first? 
Mom & Sierra knew before I did. Bo was next.   

Who was with you when you found out?
 I took both tests alone. The second test, Bo was home, so I told him as soon as I came out of the bathroom. 

My 1st reaction:  
I was excited but I was overwhelmed with nerves of telling Bo. I knew he would be happy & excited, but it was still nerve wracking.  

When was the baby conceived?  
Sometime in June.

How far were you when you found out? 
About 5 weeks or so. 

How did your parents react?  
I didn't get to see the reaction in person since I lived 26 hours away at the time. They were excited & mom cried.

Due Date:  
March 21/2015 so far!

Do you know the sex? 
Not yet... but soon!

Any names?  
We have the boys full name all picked out and ready to go... a girls name? Not so much....

Any Ultrasounds?  
Have had 2 so far! One at 11 weeks and another one at about 14

Have you heard the heart beat?  
Yep! Heard it around 13 weeks... 164 bpm! Then at the second ultrasound it was in the high 150's

Who do you think it will look like? 
I have no idea! We know that our kids are going to have great hair though! haha!  

Will the baby have siblings?  
First bebe :)

Have you felt the baby move? 
Nothing yet... hopefully that happens soon as well!